I think I’ve made it known that I possess extreme motivation to get out of debt. I have from the beginning. Sometimes I feel like maybe I should downplay it, because I don’t want anyone reading to think that if they don’t have that motivation, then they can’t do this.

Getting out of debt is really very easy. And by easy, I mean simple. You put in the work, you get the results. Getting the results is thrilling at first and at many milestones in between, but right now I’m in a mode that I’ve experienced a couple times before, where I’m just cruising along the road in front of me, barely conscious of what I’m doing.

I’m not crunching numbers as I sit in class or checking mint.com multiple times a day. I’m not daydreaming of things I’ll buy when I’m out of debt and I’m not tempted to buy anything now. I’m just on the road.

The motivation is still there, but this has become habit now. Not that I am immune to any obstacle that might appear, but that there aren’t any big enough to worry me right now.

It feels a bit like I’ve given up control. I couldn’t give you a full rundown of all of my accounts off the top of my head. I don’t know precisely where my money has gone in the last few weeks. It makes me nervous, because that’s the way I was before I started this journey. I could only see the tiny bit of road ahead of me and I put my blinders up to everything else. But, that’s not what this is. The truth is that there’s not much to know about where my money is going, because it’s not going anywhere. I’m not spending much.

Something seemed significant to me about these last four months of the journey. I guess because they coincided with a new season–my favorite season–or with the semester. I pictured myself running full speed to the finish line. Instead it’s been far calmer. I know how to do this. I’m working my hours and spending as little as possible. I’m making progress every week. The fever will come on again, I’m sure, but this quiet is nice too.

I had this strange experience when my parents were visiting.  I was having a problem with my car, which my step-dad fixed, but then on our way back from the auto parts store, my car started doing something else weird. ¹

We were sitting at a light and it was super hot (no air conditioning) and my car was going crazy and I had no idea what to do (lucky me, one car ride out of thousands, my step-dad happened to be in the car with me), so we were yelling over the top of my engine revving, and I was immediately thinking, “Nooo, I don’t have the money for this!”  I felt very helpless and overwhelmed, thinking that I wouldn’t have my car, which I depend on. And what was I going to do? And I didn’t want my parents to know that I’m not in a position to handle this.

I appeared calm throughout, but it actually took me a couple hours to have the very positive realization that I’m not helpless and I actually do have the money and resources to deal with this.  I’m used to thinking I’m teetering on the edge of ruin, because I was for a while.

I am still more than $10,000 in credit card debt, so I’m broke.  Actually, I think of broke as having a few dollars to your name and I have several negative thousands to my name.  But, I make a great deal more than is required simply to keep up with my bills, including minimum payments on my credit cards, and even if my car needed a thousand dollars in repairs it wouldn’t set me back more than a month in my journey out of debt.  I could actually pay cash–no added debt required.

It’s a big difference from last September when I absolutely had to get my tires replaced (they were all in beyond desperate need and then one went completely flat) and I had no available credit (all of my cards were maxed out) and only $250 to my name (the tires came to $245) and pay day wasn’t for another week and I didn’t have any food in my apartment.  That was rock bottom.

I want to be out of debt.  The reason it took me a second to realize I could handle repairs if necessary is that I hate the idea of getting a month behind on this goal.  I tend to me very all or nothing, even though I know that’s a stupid way to think, so in my mind, being in debt is being in debt, no matter how far in debt you are or whether you’re doing something about it or not.  But, I was surprised early on in this journey by the difference it made to my mental state simply to be doing something about my debt rather than just sitting on it.  And now I’m surprised, though I shouldn’t be, of the practical difference it makes to have paid off almost $10,000 in debt, even though I have another $10,000 to go.

1. The engine would keep revving until I was able to hit the gas or turn it off.  It’s only happened once, but I need to get it checked out.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I’ve been going back and forth about how to proceed in my journey.  It seems there are two choices: (1) continue with gazelle-like intensity, spending nothing extra. Or, (2) keep intensity high, but allow for some spending exceptions.  It seems to me now that I will take route two (already have), whether I set out to or not.  Really, there’s nothing bad about spending a little money on fun when you’re putting hundreds of dollars toward your debt every month.

The major exception I’ve been making is on travel.  Other stuff I can buy anytime, but travel comes with experiences and those are had or missed.  When I am out of debt, maybe Summer 2011, I would like to do some traveling around California.  I haven’t yet seen San Diego or San Francisco.

This year, I’ll be spending a few days of Spring Break in Arizona.  It won’t cost me much.  My dad bought my plane ticket (he insisted I not drive; I could write a whole post on my mixed feelings about accepting help from my parents).  I don’t think I’ll be paying for the hotel.  But, travel is never free and while my vacation time from the library will be paid, I will probably have to take time off from my second job and that time will not be paid.  It all seems worth it, though, to get a break from my crazy schedule and some time by the pool with my brother, sister, and Dad.

I’m still deciding whether to attend Bloggers In Sin City.  Vegas is not far away, so that’s almost no money on travel.  It’s the hotel and food/drinks/entertainment once I get there that will be expensive.  I love meeting bloggers (though meeting so many at once does overwhelm this shy girl) and I also love Vegas.  I just don’t know.  I can’t decide.  It will probably depend on what my work situation looks like for the Summer.

My parents are visiting the weekend after Bloggers in Sin City.  That won’t require any travel on my part, but it will still be a vacation.  I had a great time when they last visited.

In July, I’m going to VidCon, which again won’t require much travel, but it’s an event I decided to make an exception for.  All my favorite YouTubers in one place, plus some bloggers, and Ze Frank!!!  My ticket is already paid for.

I always go home to Washington for a week during the Summer, but that’s not certain this Summer.  It will depend if I have the vacation time and money for a plane ticket.

I think these are all valuable exceptions to the budget.  It’s the work I’ve already put into getting out debt that is making any of this possible.

The further I get into my Out of Debt Journey, the less I think about it.  I knew this would happen, of course, and I even looked forward to it.  It’s no fun being preoccupied with money all the time.  But, it makes me a bit nervous, because when you’re focused intensely on something, you feel like you’re doing something about it, but when you’re relaxed, you worry you’ll slide backwards into bad habits.

This is becoming a way of life, so I am working through how I want to live as someone getting out of debt.  Like, do I make these little concessions for things I want or do I continue full steam ahead?  Is my focus just getting out of debt or is it learning to be less materialistic?  I mean, I am already changing the way I think about money, but I could go much further.  I could get out of debt so that I can think less about money.  Or getting out of debt could be the first step in getting more serious about saving and investing and building wealth.

I guess all the time that passes between paydays leaves room for a lot of thinking.

To me, there is a stigma to the words “I’m busy” or at least to saying them out loud to other people.  I wrote about it on my personal blog once.  Even now that I know I am really busy, I can’t quite get over the stigma.  But, I’ll ignore that feeling for now, because I am busy.  Crazy busy.  No time for anything busy (except blogging, of course, because I can do that from work).

There’s no reason to complain about being busy when it comes to debt reduction, though.  It’s all upside.  First, I am mostly busy working.  Working jobs that pay me. And they pay pretty decently–I mean, not career well, but better-than-most-of-the-grad-students-I-know-get-paid well.

What I learned in the first two weeks of January, when I was only working one job, was that I am less expensive when I’m busy.  I don’t eat as much and I don’t care as much about what I eat.  I also don’t go anywhere, except for school and work, which are all within a half-mile of each other.

I definitely don’t shop, because there’s no time and it’s the last thing I want to do with my little time off.   I don’t usually shop even when I’m not crazy busy, because I’ve sworn it off while I try to get out of debt.  But, being busy removes all the temptation and opportunity, so that I don’t even think about it.

Okay, so maybe there are some risks to being so busy.  Aside from burnout, there’s the danger of being too tired to care or be strict with myself.  There’s also the occasional problem of not having time to buy proper groceries, which leaves me eating out.  A combination of the two is what sometimes gets me.  It’s not that there’s no food in my apartment; it’s just that it’s not anything I want to eat and after working so hard, I feel like I deserve better.  Fortunately for me, I consider better to be fast food and I’ve been making a more focused effort to keep myself better fed this semester, so it doesn’t come to that.

To name the last and probably biggest upside, a goal like getting out of debt gives me a great deal of motivation that keeps my attitude up when I’m busier than is comfortable and tired and dying to go home.

While home for Christmas, I had a conversation with my step-dad where he said that both he and my mom had noticed that something seemed to have changed with me since they saw me in August.

Every time I’m in town, my step-dad and I go out for coffee—just the two of us.  In August, we talked about how I wasn’t sure all of my school debt would be worth it and there were just no guarantees and it seemed like such a risky decision.  I was very vague, but still I had never been that honest about money before.

Money had finally become such a big stress in my life that I couldn’t keep it inside.  Introvert that I am, that really tells you something.

When he told me this time that I seem so much more at peace and not so distant, I was vague again, but honest in saying that taking control of my finances had made a huge difference.  I don’t know how to explain it except to say what I’ve already said: it opened up this whole future for me where I’m not struggling with money—where I can afford the pet I want and the vacation I dream of, buy a house before I’m 50, have kids some day, and just live the reasonable-but-comfortable life I want.

If getting out of debt is something you know you need to do, don’t do it just because it’s the right thing.  Do it because it will change your life.  It’s not just getting out that will change everything—the change happens the minute you seriously get started.

I am not one for motivational speeches and though I study theology, I took the academic track where there is no preaching, but getting out of debt was the second best decision I have made in years (the best was starting a blog).

My debt has been holding me in place, limiting even my dreams (which for a dreamer like me is again really saying something).  I feel free and the difference is so dramatic that it’s apparent to people who know nothing about my debt.

When I decided to get serious about debt reduction, it seemed there was nothing I could do to reduce my monthly bills.  I have always been very conscious about keeping them as lean as possible.  There’s no fat there to cut.  My problem is shopping and the way to deal with that was to stop cold turkey.

Still, when you’re trying to do everything you can to get out of debt, you have to look at your lifestyle.  There are things I could cut or reduce; the question is whether I’m willing to do so.

Here are some of the ways I could cut monthly spending and my thoughts on whether doing so is worth it or not.

• I have an iPhone and the $90 monthly service that comes along with it. I absolutely never should have bought the phone.  I couldn’t afford it and I definitely couldn’t afford the monthly bill, but here I am more than a year later.  It’s hard to imagine going without the phone now, though I know that I could.  It’s more a question of whether I’m willing to and whether it would be worth it, since I’d have to get a new phone and break my contract.  Right now, the answer is no.  If it stood between me and getting out of debt, then I would change my answer, but I can make significant payments without trading in my phone and the smallest possible cell bill I could have would be $50.  Right now, the iPhone is worth it to me.
• I live alone. I have the cheapest housing possible for living alone; I’m in a tiny studio apartment.  If I moved into a two bedroom apartment with a roommate, I could save about $175 a month in rent.  Right now, it’s worth it to me to have my own space.  Only the smallest of apartments around here would really save me any money.  I would consider the option if I had someone I wanted to move in with, but right now I’m not willing to risk the random assignment.
• I have my own car. I live in California, so going without a car is practically unheard of, but I live and work and go to school all within very close proximity.  Getting groceries and visiting friends would be difficult, but I could do it.  My car is paid off, I pay about $97 a month for insurance, and spend about $30 in gas (because I don’t drive much).  To me, it’s not worth it to lose the independence and convenience of having my own car.
• I wear decent clothing. I don’t wear designer clothing or anything too expensive, but if something is worn out, I replace it.  I certainly have more than I need and keep up a  certain standard of dressing that exceeds what is necessary for my job and for being a student.  This, I can cut for now.   Just before getting serious about debt reduction, I spent $200-300 on clothing.  I told myself I was just stocking up!  Yeah, I’ve fallen for that before.  This time, I’m holding myself accountable.  I’m going to try not to spend any money on clothing until the beginning of next summer and, ideally, beyond that.  When I do buy clothing, I will be very intentional.
• I use several beauty products. I have spent a lot of money on make up, especially, but also hair care, nail polish, and other beauty products.  It doesn’t cost too much to keep it up, though.  Most items don’t need to be replaced too often and I have forbidden myself from buying more.  I don’t get manicures or pedicures, I get my hair cut only twice a year, and I don’t tan or anything.  I can be pretty low maintenance.
• Health. I wouldn’t normally mention this, but it was a money drain in November.  I spent $185 on new glasses when I could have gotten cheaper frames and said no to the anti-reflective coating.  I got white fillings when I could have paid nothing for the silver.  I’m trying to think reasonably about these things, but also long term.  Not keeping up with my health, not choosing quality will likely cost me more money in the future.  Plus, I pay for a portion of my health insurance and I should be using it!
• I go out once or twice a month. I go out pretty rarely, but when I have the opportunity, I usually say yes.  That means spending money on food, drinks, and possibly a movie or whatever.  Compared to other twenty-somethings, I spend very little in this category, but it’s hard to justify it at all when I’m trying to get out of debt.  Right now, I’m probably not going to cut down from rarely going out to not going out at all.  I’m 25 and spend most of my time at work or in school.  I need to socialize occasionally!
• Fast Food/Coffee/Vending Machines. I probably eat out at least once a week.  I don’t think of that as being a lot, but looking at the money I was spending, I see how quickly it adds up.  I’m trying to limit it only to when I go out with friends, but a maximum of twice a month.  If I do eat out, then I’ll concentrate on keeping the bill low.  I don’t get coffee a lot, but a cafe recently opened very close to me, so I stop in occasionally.  And then there’s the vending machine at work.  Going broke 80 cents at a time.  I’m trying to severely limit both and do all of my food spending at the grocery store where prices are cheaper and easier for me to track.
• The grocery store. There’s a lot of fat I could cut here.  I spend between $200-250 a month just for myself.  That’s not bad for a budget in general, but I’m trying to get out of debt!  I’m not on a rice and beans diet, that’s for sure.  I spend more than I should, because I don’t really cook, so some of the things I buy are prepackaged meats and cheeses, which are not cheap.  Still, I’m trying to get myself to not eat out and if there’s is no good food in my kitchen, I’m more likely to give into that temptation.  There is one area where I could cut grocery spending: alcohol.  What I drink is pretty cheap, but I could limit my drinking to just Friday and Saturday.  That would cut out $5-10 a week from my grocery bill.  Consider that done.
• Misc. This is all the random stuff that comes up and the small bits of money I spend here and there.  I don’t lead an unpredictable life full of drama where money problems are always arising, but there are things you can’t help.  There are the things I can help, though.  Like random trips to Target and mindlessly buying music on iTunes.  There should be nothing left defined as misc. in my budget.  I’m trying to account for everything.

I know it probably sounds pretty restrictive to watch everything so closely, but I’ve found it to be strangely liberating.  There isn’t all this doubt in my mind about what I can afford and where my money is going.  I know where it’s going.