Do Your Coworkers Know You’re In Debt?

Cora asked: Do your co-workers know you’re in debt?   I feel guilty for going out for lunch with co-workers because I could be saving that money; however, I feel silly for fibbing about the constant brown-bagging. I don’t want to explain my situation because it’s A) embarrassing I got myself in this mess and B) I don’t want them to think I’m an irresponsible person/employee.

My coworkers don’t know about my debt.  At least, they don’t know the extent of it.  But, it’s not really an issue for me, because my coworkers are mostly 20 years older than I am and we don’t regularly go out for lunch.  I live two minutes away from both jobs, so I go home for meals.

I know what you’re saying, though, and I’ve experienced the same thing with friends.  It’s hard to be in debt without telling anyone, because you end up spending what you can’t afford just so you don’t have to make money an issue.  I did that for a long time.  It’s quite possible that I would have continued, but I wanted to blog about my debt and didn’t feel like I could do that without telling the people who were reading my personal blog and two of my closest friends read my personal blog.  I had to tell them.

I had the same fear of telling my blog friends and my real life friends.  I was embarrassed and I thought they’d think I was irresponsible and stupid.  Instead I heard that a ton of other people were also in debt and, actually, those who weren’t have become some of my biggest cheerleaders. What I learned is:

A). People don’t expect you to be perfect.  In fact, they will probably like you more for being honest about yourself.

B). You pretty much take the punch out of any criticism they might throw your way if you start by confessing that you made a mistake and you’re already doing something about it.

C). People get a kick out of watching others succeed.  The only people who won’t support your brown bagging are probably people who are also in debt and resent your for succeeding while they’re not (aka people not worth worrying about, because they don’t have your best interest in mind).

I know that it’s a professional environment, so that seems to make a difference, but I really don’t think it does.  If you’re close enough with your coworkers to go out to lunch regularly, then you’re close enough to confess your debt.   Seeing you face a problem and solve it will make their respect for you grow.  It certainly won’t do any permanent damage to your professional reputation.

Even if you don’t want to go public with your debt, I think a very vague, “I’m bringing my lunch for a while, because I’m trying to save money,” is a valid excuse.