It Wasn’t Any Fun

I don’t have many illusions about my financial life before I decided to get out of debt.  When I talk about spending nothing now, it doesn’t feel like I’m depriving myself, because I remember what it was like then.  I was spending money I didn’t have and I didn’t feel free and I wasn’t happy.

Here’s the annoying thing.  Even before I got serious about my debt, I was always worrying about money and thinking that I should be better.  So every time I would go buy something I couldn’t afford, it was the last time and I never even went out for dinner without thinking that I shouldn’t be spending the money.

In many ways, I was frugal, so I wasn’t living an extravagant lifestyle. I wasn’t having any fun with my money.  I didn’t even get much satisfaction from the shopping I did.  It was just a distraction that brought momentary excitement.

For most of the last year, the balances on my credit cards were so high that after making minimum payments, there was almost no available credit before the interest was added and the card was maxed out again. I was paying hundreds of dollars a month just to keep my head above water and that money was going to nothing.

I would have to work as much as I do now just to support my debt problem, so the fact that all of this hard work is now going to getting me out of debt is so awesome that I can’t imagine going backwards.  Back then, I had all of this same stress, but there was no end in sight.  Now there is an end in sight and plenty of milestones to celebrate along the way.