Not that this is particularly rare in our present culture, but I am one of those people who thinks a lot about how long I’ve been doing something. I guess because the length of time seems to make it valid somehow. My entire first year of blogging, I was staring at May 29th, because I couldn’t wait to say I’d been blogging for a full year. Now I’m looking forward to saying it’s been two years, because that’s even longer!
I guess the truth is that I don’t particularly like starting things. I like being well into them and at that point where I’ve mostly got it figured out. I’m the rare student who does better as the semester goes on instead of starting strong and fizzling out. With my high school diploma, BA, and MA, I got my highest grades in my last semesters.
I think this is even more true when it comes to goals, because when you decide you want to do something–something you don’t have to do–it’s easy to quit. I have quit a million times, usually almost immediately after starting. Once I have some momentum, though, I’m good. So, getting through those first few days, weeks, months is a relief to me.
When it comes to this journey to get out of debt, I am shocked that so much time has passed already. It’s been almost six months. Do you know that that’s half a year? And a year is a long time! It’s hard not to spend every day looking forward to that next pay day (that time seems to pass slowly even though I have two jobs that pay on opposite schedules). As the months pass, it’s hard not to stare at December with extreme anticipation. This is why I’m going at a crazy pace–so that I can be done! Soon!
Even though I’ve made half-hearted attempts to get out of debt before, I knew this time from the very first day that it was going to stick. But, just to torture myself, I always start to doubt my extreme confidence, so I wondered, “what if it doesn’t stick? What if I quit?” That’s not even a thought that crosses my mind anymore. It would take a cosmic brick wall for me to so much as slow down.
Comments on this entry are closed.