Acting Rich

There’s this book out by the author of The Millionaire Next Door called Stop Acting Rich.  I have not read either book, though my understanding of author Thomas Stanley’s philosophy is that millionaires live frugally and that’s how they grow and maintain their wealth.  This reminds me of the only millionaire I’ve ever known–an old boss of mine.  He drove a Honda only a few years newer than mine, wore a watch he must have purchased at a drug store, and worked all the time.  He matched the profile of most self-made millionaires.

My goal in life is not to become a millionaire, but deciding to get out of debt changed the way I look at my financial future, and living well below my means even when I don’t have to certainly appeals to me as a lifestyle if it means a secure financial future.

But, really, I need to take a step back.  Even just the title Stop Acting Rich is something I needed to hear a couple years ago.  Compared to others, maybe I never did live like I was rich.  I’ve never purchased a new car or even a pair of jeans that cost more than $100.  In hiding my debt, though, especially from myself, I made several bad money decisions, pretending that money was not a problem for me.  Just little things even.  Buying makeup and nail polish, because oh the pretty colors and I have to have it.  Replacing an iPod way before it should have given up on me, because taking it in to be fixed seemed like too much trouble and that shiny new Classic was just irresistible.  Agreeing to additional medical tests, though I didn’t think they were necessary.  Buying a new laptop, because I’d wanted it for so long and, hey, I work hard and maybe it will help me write that novel (really stupid; but, I did finish my first novel on it).  Buying an iPhone, because I just landed a new job and maybe I haven’t started working yet, but I will soon be bringing in my biggest pay checks ever  (Apple gets me in a lot of trouble apparently).  Agreeing to plans I wasn’t that interested in and knew would be too expensive, because I didn’t want to be the one to say something.

I have been so hesitant to make money an issue ever, which is silly because being frugal is nothing to be ashamed of, money is an issue for most of the people I interact with regularly, and I cannot afford not to think about money.

It’s weird being a grad student, because you have no money and usually you’re regularly collecting debt.  But, you’re not poor, because poor people don’t have enough money to pay rent and buy food and go to the doctor, and I’ve never gone hungry.  There’s more to the equation than cash in hand; there’s also available resources–like financially stable parents, available credit, and money earning potential.

It’s deceptive, though, because it made it possible for me to live for a long time in the mindset of someone with money.  At the time I decided to get out of debt, I had nearly exhausted all of my resources.  I had almost no available credit while already working full time.  Few options left but to go to my parents, which was a thought so terrifying to me that I would exhaust every other option first.

I worried that going public with my debt on the internet and with a few close friends would make me feel uncomfortable–like I was being watched and judged for my money-spending habits.  Instead it has been such a relief to bring money into the conversation–to stop pretending like it’s not a concern for me.  It doesn’t mean I never spend anything, never go out for drinks, or judge other people for their spending habits.  It just means I’ve stopped living like I’m rich.

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