I had an epiphany this week. It’s been a long time coming, but I’ve never been this serious. I am in debt. A lot of debt. And while I’m getting by and am not missing payments or anything, I have put myself at great risk. If anything goes wrong, I’m screwed. One missed pay check and I would be unable to pay my rent. I make enough money to be paying down my debt, but for the last year I have been spinning my wheels.
My journey to get out of debt started with an attitude adjustment. I am really embarrassed by all of the justifications and rationalizations that got me where I am today. I am a smart girl and if anyone had told me the things I was telling myself while living beyond my means, I would have recognized their stupidity. But, I deluded myself.
What’s weird is that I haven’t always had trouble with money. I’ve been working continuously since high school. I always worked more than any of my friends or classmates, and I was responsible with my money. The trouble started when I got to grad school. I had a budget, but I’d never supported myself completely on my own before, and I quickly realized I had underestimated the cost of living. That’s how it started, but once the ball was rolling, I traded in all of my good money habits and adopted a new method: avoidance.
Breaking the habit of avoidance has been difficult, but once I did it, I realized that though my situation is serious, I can handle it. There is a lot I can do to get myself out of debt. I am already working a lot, bringing in money from multiple sources, and now it’s time to be more diligent about not spending and putting money toward my debt.
I will get into all the dirty details very soon. Facing the numbers is so important to getting started on paying down debt. I want this blog to be about accountability, but I also want to explore the kind of thinking that got me here. I don’t want to for a second underestimate the importance of money, but getting out of debt is as much about psychology as it is about cash.
Getting out of debt means giving myself a stable future where I can continue to pursue my less-than-practical dreams. There’s no excuse for the situation I’m in, but it’s time to stop hiding from my debt. It’s time to do something about it. For myself.
{ 2 comments }
Hey Ashley, I’m so sorry about your situation and I’m impressed that you’re facing it head-on now with full honesty and responsibility. I think blogging about it will be a good thing. Easier to write out the goals than to fulfill them no doubt, but definitely a huge step in the right direction. Do you use mint.com? It might help to visualize your spending month-to-month — I think it’s great. I love that you can set budgets for categories, like groceries, and it’s like a game (sorta) to keep your spending level below the little bar that paces you throughout the month!
I was seriously just the same. I had a credit card since high school, but for years had no issues paying it off promptly after using it. Then junior year came and I couldn’t afford Christmas presents, yet was determined to give everyone a holiday, so I put it all on plastic. The downward spiral began and I’m crazy in debt now. Couple that with perhaps unwise spending and a slight shopping problem, and I’m doomed.
I need to start something like this for the accountability. ‘Cause seriously, right now I have none other than feeling crappy all the time.
Somehow we got into this sinking ship and now it’s time to escape before we drown. =/ All my best hun. I think you’ll succeed far better than I.
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