I had an epiphany this week. It’s been a long time coming, but I’ve never been this serious. I am in debt. A lot of debt. And while I’m getting by and am not missing payments or anything, I have put myself at great risk. If anything goes wrong, I’m screwed. One missed pay check and I would be unable to pay my rent. I make enough money to be paying down my debt, but for the last year I have been spinning my wheels.
My journey to get out of debt started with an attitude adjustment. I am really embarrassed by all of the justifications and rationalizations that got me where I am today. I am a smart girl and if anyone had told me the things I was telling myself while living beyond my means, I would have recognized their stupidity. But, I deluded myself.
What’s weird is that I haven’t always had trouble with money. I’ve been working continuously since high school. I always worked more than any of my friends or classmates, and I was responsible with my money. The trouble started when I got to grad school. I had a budget, but I’d never supported myself completely on my own before, and I quickly realized I had underestimated the cost of living. That’s how it started, but once the ball was rolling, I traded in all of my good money habits and adopted a new method: avoidance.
Breaking the habit of avoidance has been difficult, but once I did it, I realized that though my situation is serious, I can handle it. There is a lot I can do to get myself out of debt. I am already working a lot, bringing in money from multiple sources, and now it’s time to be more diligent about not spending and putting money toward my debt.
I will get into all the dirty details very soon. Facing the numbers is so important to getting started on paying down debt. I want this blog to be about accountability, but I also want to explore the kind of thinking that got me here. I don’t want to for a second underestimate the importance of money, but getting out of debt is as much about psychology as it is about cash.
Getting out of debt means giving myself a stable future where I can continue to pursue my less-than-practical dreams. There’s no excuse for the situation I’m in, but it’s time to stop hiding from my debt. It’s time to do something about it. For myself.
No related posts.
{ 2 comments }
Hey Ashley, I’m so sorry about your situation and I’m impressed that you’re facing it head-on now with full honesty and responsibility. I think blogging about it will be a good thing. Easier to write out the goals than to fulfill them no doubt, but definitely a huge step in the right direction. Do you use mint.com? It might help to visualize your spending month-to-month — I think it’s great. I love that you can set budgets for categories, like groceries, and it’s like a game (sorta) to keep your spending level below the little bar that paces you throughout the month!
I was seriously just the same. I had a credit card since high school, but for years had no issues paying it off promptly after using it. Then junior year came and I couldn’t afford Christmas presents, yet was determined to give everyone a holiday, so I put it all on plastic. The downward spiral began and I’m crazy in debt now. Couple that with perhaps unwise spending and a slight shopping problem, and I’m doomed.
I need to start something like this for the accountability. ‘Cause seriously, right now I have none other than feeling crappy all the time.
Somehow we got into this sinking ship and now it’s time to escape before we drown. =/ All my best hun. I think you’ll succeed far better than I.
Comments on this entry are closed.