by Ashley on August 30, 2010
While I’ve still been working 55 hours and six days a week this Summer, it’s certainly been a lot easier than the 15 hours days I was working when school was in session. I have at several points this Summer, especially while enjoying a previously forgotten delight called free time, marveled at how I was able to pull off working so much during the school year. I kept eying the end of August, thinking, “how can I do this again?”
But then several weeks ago, I was talking to one of my coworkers, who’s been in a similar situation, and he and I were trying to explain to another of our coworkers that you just do it. You really don’t know what you’re capable of until you push yourself to the limits. Not to continue to force Nike slogan-like motivational statements on you, but there’s no secret except to just do it. And that made me feel better, because I know that I’ve done it before and I can do it again. That simple thought has taken away most of my anxiety about the end of Summer and the start of Fall.
Adding to my motivation is that the finish line finally seems so close. There has been a lot of time between the exhilarating start and the fantastic end. Months and months of just plugging along. But now the end is only four months away and I can smell it, feel it, taste it. Getting there is, to me, worth whatever it takes and I’ve been working on making all the preparations necessary to start the final sprint. Most important has been to get my mind in the right place.
I was certain of success from the beginning. I guess because getting out of debt is really so simple. There’s never been a point where I didn’t know what to do or I was confused by someone else or I could possibly convince myself that not getting out was the better option. It took me a long time to get my mind in the right place, but then it was and I’ve had complete focus ever since, which stands in contrast to the rest of my full-of-distraction life.
Getting out of debt has been my biggest priority this year and it has demanded a lot of my attention and nearly all of my time. I’m looking forward to my money being my own more than anything, but I’m also looking forward to having this burden off my back. I think about money all the time and not having enough of it/expenses coming up/not making my debt goals are a constant source of stress for me, often even when I don’t realize it. I’m making a lot of money and yet I always feel broke. I’m tired of that.
So, watch me as I go is I guess what I’m saying. I’m going to do everything I can to be out of debt by the end of the year. I want to start 2011 differently.
by Ashley on August 26, 2010
This time last year, I hit rock bottom in my financial life. School was just starting, I was sick, my car had a flat tire, and I didn’t have any money or available credit. I was almost at a point where not asking for help was no longer an option. But, I was stubborn, so I walked everywhere in 100 degree heat and dragged myself to the grocery store to buy the least expensive medication I could find. Then I waited out the next week until it was finally pay day.
You can float along a very long time without feeling your debt. This was the first time I’d really felt it. The first time it was so limiting that I couldn’t go about my normal life. The first time I had to strategize how I would eat for the next week with only the food I already had in my apartment.
It was scary and I was very aware that if one more thing went wrong, I was done. Worst case scenario, I guess I would have had to call my parents and ask for money, which is a million miles from ending up in a box on the sidewalk, but in my mind, it was just about that bad.
I made it to pay day. By then I was no longer sick, but I got my car fixed and bought some groceries and said to myself, “Wow, that was a close call.” You’d think I would have been scared into action, but I wasn’t. I’m sure I made some kind of an effort to at least avoid being blindsided like that again, but as soon as there was money in my bank account I continued on as I had before. Things didn’t click for another two months.
Things could hardly be more different this year. I have $12,000 less credit card debt, money in my accounts, and plenty of available credit. Most importantly, I’m not ignoring a huge problem in my life. But, I don’t always feel the difference. I guess because I have my get out of debt game face on. I feel broke all of the time and I still stress about unexpected expenses constantly.
The truth, whether I choose to accept it or not, is that I am in a much better place and while I’m hoping for clear weather until I reach shore, I’m now capable of weathering a pretty huge storm. It would take a lot more than a flat tire and acid reflux to take me down now.
by Ashley on August 23, 2010
This is a strange post to write, but I keep trying to fit this information into other places and it’s not working. Still, I want it to be known. While it is entirely possible that I will change my mind, I anticipate that this blog will end soon after I’m out of debt (early 2011).
I’m sure there are plenty of posts I could write after that point, but this blog is really about my story of getting into and out of debt. While I’m trying to make the point that money is important and making smart decisions with your money is important, I’ve always thought of this blog as more of a story than a place to get financial advice. I mean, I have plenty of advice on how to get out of debt, but it’s hardly more complicated than making up your mind to do it.
Post-debt life interests me very much. I am actually eager to be responsible with my money and make decisions about what to do with it. The only real decision I’ve made in this journey was the first one; the answer to every question since has been, “do whatever you have to do to get out of debt.” The story has been about getting my mind in the right place to keep running this marathon.
I have savings to build and a Ph.D.’s worth of student loans to tackle. But, I don’t want to live the life of a personal finance blogger, accounting publicly for every financial decision I make. I don’t feel like I need that kind of accountability. The story that interests me most will be over and if it needs an epilogue or several, I have a personal blog where I can write whatever I want.
I like the idea of an end, though I won’t force it if I still have a lot left to say. For now, I’m still running and still telling the story.
